An Emotional Basket Case

Today I was a mess.  Like ugly crying from the get go.  And some of it may of been from my monthly visitor.  However, I officially have an 11 yr old.  Who is getting into the tween angst movement conspiring to drive mothers crazy.  And the baby will be 3 at the end of the month.

But all that aside, the baby started preschool prep today.  This child.  Who clings to me if someone looks at him, talks to him, or tries to touch him, went to school today and could care less if I stayed or not.  We've come a long way.  His teachers said by the end of class, he was actually trying to say what he wanted.   Which is a big deal since he usually just uses sign language to tell me what he wants.  Of course, we were talking up preschool all week.  And he was really excited.  And once they brought out the playdoh, he didn't even notice that I was still there.

It was such a big relief to know that he did ok.  He's my baby.  Then I took out my phone to send the required picture to my mom, my mother in law, and my grandma.  It doesn't seem like she should be gone.  Or is gone.  Today is one of those days that I would have sent her a picture of the first day of preschool and then called her so she could calm me down and talk me out of going to get him early.  And then she would have called him to tell him how great it was that he did so well on his first day.  But we didn't do that.  Instead, I went to coffee with some of the other moms.  And constantly checked my phone to see if they called or texted me.  Even though I was across the parking lot at the coffee shop.  And then I cried because he did great.  He's growing up and it won't be much longer that any one will be completely dependent on me for everything.  I know this because he's my last baby.  No more for us.  But it's also a little sad knowing that too.  I'm going to cherish this moment for ever.

Rough Start

2016 is starting out rough.  I've been rather quiet on the blog front.  But it's often hard to decide whether I'm oversharing or not.  And to be blunt, I just didn't want to.

We started January with the big kid getting sick.  Not surprisingly it was his birthday.  Have I mentioned that I hate winter birthdays?  I feel so bad for my kids.

Then a crazy inlaw of mine wanted us to watch her girls for the night.  That was fine.  But the constant calling and checking on them was a bit much.  The next morning, I got a phone call telling me that my grandma passed away in her sleep.  She was my rock.  My second mother.  The one that may not have been happy with every choice I made, but never threw it in my face either.  She was also the one that I called almost every single day.  Even if it was to talk for 10 minutes and just say hi.  Which I did the day before she died.  That was rough.  To know that she sounded just fine on the phone not 12 hours before she died.  And of course, I had to keep my composure because we were watching my nieces.  

Then the guilt trip started from my parents on making it to the funeral.  So I got some train tickets, and the boys and I loaded up on a 27 hour each way train to Kansas.  While it was great to be "home" for a day, I wish it was under better circumstances.

The trip wasn't great for the little kid however, he ended up with pneumonia.  That we're still fighting.

And if all that wasn't bad enough, the birthday party for BOTH boys was the Saturday after we came back.  By this time, we were broke beyond words, no presents for them, invitations had already been sent out, and we had homework for a week to catch up on and a science fair project to start and finish.
I'm done with this year already.  And it's only the first of February.  Luckily, we pulled off an amazing party for $60 and enough people showed up to spoil our kids with lots of great gifts.  So here's to a better February.