***I've written this post several times and deleted several times. Every time I would get ready to post it, something else pops up in life. It tends to do that when you're a mother of boys.
The mom hat. It's something that pre-motherhood, many women didn't understand. And while we as mothers all know about the mom hat, can relate to the mom hat, no two mom hats are alike. Nor are they created equal. Every one has this ideal about motherhood. All of us want to wear the perfect hat. And while we don't think we accomplish this to other hat standards, we do a great job for our own hat standards.
The other day, the baby and I accompanied hubby to the doctors. Just to get out of the house for a while. It turned into a half of a day affair. Oh yeah, I brought one diaper with us. I think it was going to be a 2 hr trip at most. On the way down to the appt, hubby listened to some personal development. And the reader talked about doing your best no matter what you do in life. Even the housewife and mother can give her best and feel great about it. And that statement hit home. For the first time in my life, I'm a stay at home mom. Not just part time. Or for a few months or weeks. Till the littlest starts school anyways. But as I added 4-H mom and cub scout mom to my hat, I realized that I'm JUST a mother. And JUST a mother isn't that bad, but I almost lost my identity in 6 months. As I had to put n/a in the occupation line in the applications where I used to put silversmith, I felt a sadness. Not bad, just that for the past 10 and a half years, I was an employee and had a career so to speak.
I also had this image of how being a stay at home mom would be. And it worked. In my head. I planned on getting up, showering, making lunches, and nursing the baby all by 7. When it got a bit cooler, I'd add a run in and get everything done by 8. I'd also put the baby down for a morning and afternoon nap. Which would allow me to sew in the morning, clean in the afternoon. Laundry would always be caught up, breakfast, lunch, and dinner would be homemade.
And then kidlet #2 arrived. And he is nothing like his big brother. He hates the car when it's stops moving. And hates the car seat. It will be a long 8+ years. He also doesn't nap like his brother. Or play like his brother. In fact, while we lucked out with 2 easy babies, but they are so different. And the 8 year age gap wasn't as easy as I thought either.
The other week was a real test. We had school for kidlet #1. We also had 2 days of karate, book fair, back to school night, and cub scouts. I also had a lactation appointment for #2. The whole nursing and pumping thing isn't the dream I had either. One night we went from school, to home for homework and a snack, karate, home to change, and then to cub scouts. Usually we don't have more than one activity on any given day. But that day was hectic. And we got home at 8 to which I threw some corn dogs in the toaster oven, and a bag of frozen peas on the stove and called it dinner. And it worked for us.
It was a situation like that where I realized just how my mom felt. Only she had 3 kids doing different activities. Her mom was full to the brim. And now that my hat is changing and evolving, I guess I will find a new normal. It's ok if dinner is frozen peas and corn dogs. It's ok if laundry doesn't get done one day of the week. It's even ok to let those dinner dishes go till the morning. What is important to live life to the best of your ability. And being happy and not stressing about the little things is the most important part.
So here's to my new mom hat. I'm a wife, mother, cook, maid, taxi driver, cheer leader, karate mom, 4-H mom, cub scout mom, 3rd grade room mom, breastfeeding, pumping, baby food making, baby wearing, sometimes running, sometimes exercising, quilting, sewing mom. As as my life evolves, so will my hat. And I will enjoy(or at least try to) every minute of it. Because these kids grow up way to fast. I know. Kidlet #1 is already 8 and a half. And it seems like just yesterday that he was as little as #2.